Facebook Etiquette. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has it. While this is a general statement it seems to me, based on my personal news feed that people who were on Facebook back when you could only have Facebook by having a .edu email address seem to be the people that get it the most. Once it became open to everyone Facebook changed a ton.
Now it seems that Facebook is just a free for all. You have people who share way too much and way too often, vague-bookers and people who don’t understand what a private message is, how to use messenger or even how to just pick up the phone and call or text whatever it is they want to tell you.
Even with those Facebook offenses the people who make me the most upset are those who announce things they have no business announcing. The one I’ll talk about today is the birth of a baby.
This one is going to be really simple.
When should you announce the birth of someone’s baby?
The answer is almost always NEVER, especially when they haven’t announced the birth of their baby yet. This is their child, they’ve waited 9+ months for their baby to be born. They deserve to announce (or not announce the birth of their baby).
What counts as announcing?
Announcing the birth of someone’s baby typically happens in one of two ways. The first way is by posting that the person/couple in questions has given birth to their child on your own wall the other way is by posting “congratulations” on their wall (with or without picture). Let them be the ones to share they’ve had their baby, not you!
Let’s go over some FAQ’s and Responses.
What if it’s my grand baby?
Did the parents give you permission to make this announcement? No? Then no.
What if it’s my niece/nephew?
Did the parents give you permission to make this announcement? No? Then no.
What if it’s my best friend’s baby?
Did the parents give you permission to make this announcement? No? Then no.
But they haven’t announced yet and I’m super excited.
I’m so happy you’re excited, but the answer is still no.
They’ve already announced and I want to share with my friends and family.
Did you get permission from your friends/family who just had the baby to share with your entire list of Facebook friends? If yes then go for it. If no, then NO!
But the parents asked me too.
Then it’s okay. This is the only time it’s okay, when you have explicit permission from both parents to announce the birth of THEIR child.
In case you have over zealous friend and family here are some images you’re free to use to post on your wall to remind your friends and family not to announce the birth of your baby (or babies).
And for families expecting multiples:
I hope these images help you to be able to announce the birth of your baby (or babies) yourself and not have the surprise spoiled but well meaning friends and family. I posted something similar on my Facebook wall before the birth of our latest addition and it was very well received!
Does it bother you when people announce the birth of someone’s baby? Did anyone ever do this to you? How did it make you feel?
If you decide to use one of these images let me know how it goes for you!
This happened to me. A well-meaning, excited family member broke our news before we could even think about posting to Facebook. Not that anything could ever take away an ounce of joy at welcoming our new baby, but when I looked back on it a few weeks later, it kind of bummed me out.
Yes, this happen to my daughter. A family member pressured her of name of baby. Wanted to know what they were thinking of for names. She said we have not finalized the name but mentioned it. Low and behold, it was posted with picture of newborn & little cousin on FB. My daughter called family relative immediately and said she did not tell their immediately parents and siblings yet. The post was not deleted and my daughter sent our family a text message as to the name. Which was spelled totally differenct than on FB. I’m happy that they were excited about cousin and new baby, But I as a Mother & Grandmother, I do not accept this being notified thru text. I feel hurt, robbed & embarrassed of notifying immediate family and friends as they seen it already of FB. Very close relative said they had no idea family did not know. Not mad, but very disappointed. Took the excitement away from us.
I had this issue happen with my second child. One of my sisters asked everyone on her feed for prayers because I was having a c-section and my other sister and my sister in law posted pictures of the baby before I had even had the chance to see her because of complications in my surgery. It was upsetting and something I would like to avoid the third time around! Like your blog says…I carried the baby for 9 months so let me tell the world when I’m ready!
I’m so sorry that happened to you! It’s so frustrating. I think most people mean well but I wish they would think about it more!