Tomorrow is little Christmas with my Dad’s side of the family and I’m not going to lie. I’m scurred. And it’s not because of the over abundance of people that are going to be there. It’s because of the over abundance of opinions. In particular to my breastfeeding. My breastfeeding of an almost 1 year old. I don’t think everyone in my family approves.
Hell.
I KNOW everyone in my family does not approve! My own mother {Bless her Heart} has said to me that it was “weird” because he was jumping around and stuff. That was a couple of months though when he first started realizing he could be mobile he has calmed down since then. And normally is very calm when nursing especially before a nap or bedtime.
B even thinks it’s a little weird. I think he has a love/weird relationship with it. He knows that it saves us money and that’s it’s good for Mason. I think KNOW he’s proud that I do breastfeed and give Mason the best that I can. He has been supportive of my breastfeeding since Day 1 {although I will say that a part of it was because he didn’t have to do much lol} and I can tell by the things he says that he thinks breastfeeding is the way to go for our family.
As tomorrow nears I’m getting more and more nervous because my family is OVERLY opinionated and think they have a right to say whatever they want.
Case in Point: My Mom’s cousin came up to say good bye to me after my Abuelita’s funeral and I was feeding Mason.
Him: Oh are you breastfeeding?
Me: Yes.
Him: You need to stop that.
Me: No.
I HATE that breastfeeding isn’t the norm. I hate that I’m going to be made to feel weird because I’m breastfeeding my almost 1 year old. My BABY! Maybe I’m underestimating them. Maybe no one will say anything. Maybe I’m a dreamer.
I’m a planner. So here are some situations I’m expecting and some things I’m planning to say or do in response.
If someone offers me a blanket I will decline.
When they’re eating I will offer them a blanket.
If someone asks me to go into another room I will decline.
When they’re eating I will ask them to leave the room.
If someone comments on why I’m *still* breastfeeding I will ask them things like “Why haven’t you lost those last ten pounds yet?” “Why are you still an alcoholic?” “Why are you ugly?” etc.
And my favorite thing? I’m going to look them straight in the eye and say
BLESS YOUR HEART
What do you say to family/friends who don’t know how to mind their own business?
Good luck!! That's so hard. Before Ryan was born, 1 year sounded so old… like such a long time. But now that it's here, you're right, he's still a BABY! I can't imagine stopping breastfeeding now. Good for you for standing up to all of them!! I know it can be really hard. Bless your heart 😉
Poo on them. Don't they know it's good for your son? That's just crazy. Love your responses!
(Hello, from a lurker) I'm not a mom but I had to comment on this. I think your plan of attack is awesome. I try to imagine situations ahead of time to think of the *perfect comeback* but I usually fail. Good luck though, and please take photos of reactions.
PS. Screw them, they're just threatened that your baby is going to be smarter, healthier and better looking than them.
Chin up, girl!! My sis in law moved to Italy last year, the wide belief over there is that it is wrong to breastfeed beyond 6 mos (my niece is still nursing at nearly 2 years). The point of my saying this is that, regardless of what others may think, do what you feel most comfortable with your baby!!
I breastfed both of mine until AT LEAST their first birthday, and plan to do it again this time. 🙂 It's healthiest for both of you, if anyone doesn't like it, they can carry their opinions.
The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that it is completely beneficial for baby and momma up to 2 years of age. 🙂
Hopefully this encourages you to ignore any unsolicited comments. Remember Mama knows best. 😉
I might also file away some handy stats or 1 liner responses. Like how the World Health Organization recommends 2 years of breastfeeding and more! Just think…by BF in front of all your family members you are helping to promote BF and slowly help it become the normal it should be!
Some people also respond to this 1 liner pretty well, 'Thanks for your input but I've decided to keep with breastfeeding and my doctor supports and recommends it'. Some people work well with using 'doctor talk'.
A lot of their response is based on lack of knowledge and their own past experiences where, maybe, bottle feeding was the norm. So, keep on nursing and doing what you are doing. You are amazing!!
Good for you for putting Mason's needs first! I hate that you have to go through this, though. Breastfeeding should be the norm.
I love your responses. That would be awesome!
LOL. bless your heart.
i love you. 🙂
So how did it go? Did you have the opportunity to use any of your ingenious comebacks? My dad said to me when Madilyn was 6 months old: "You're about done with that aren't you?" Um…NO. This coming from a man who pinches pennies like he'll never see another one again.
im all about whats good for baby and everything BUT i also do think 2 is a little old to be latching on to a mother breast!
When there are teeth involved and they can ask for your breast to feed from, I think it is time to stop. Now this is only my opinion not facts. And speaking of facts, there are SO many conflicting articles whether or not breastfeeding up to a certain age is really relevant so all the mumbo jumbo we read may not be true. Correct me if i'm wrong buttt the first 3 weeks or so is the most beneficial to the baby because it contains the most concentrated amount of vitamins and antibodies??
I think its just that people don't want to see another persons breast while they're eating because it is a little uncomfortable whether or not its how your feeding your child. Breasts are "private parts" also, so when someone exposes a breast while around other people especially a male, i think the mood changes to an uncomfortable enviroment.
All in all he is not my kid, I chose to stop pumping at a certain point because I wanted to.. there was to much going on in my life, with work family distractions etc and I wanted my child to use a sippy and drink whole milk etc etc etc.. knowing the positives of that as well. But like i said he is not my child, but i do think that the reason your family has an issue with it is because they are uncomfortable being around it.
Happy New Year!
Dear Anonymous, Yes you ARE wrong…
dear katie.. chill out it was a joke.. lighten up =) i know mason very personally.. im his godmother— sense of humor out there anywhere??? why do u think i did it.. cause every gets all in a tizzy about it when its none of their business… i understand the controversy with breast feeding and i know she was nervous about going to her families house about it and after reading everyones responses it was to serious.. sooo i guess im just a SICK individual who wanted to lighten the mood.. its called a JOKE..so everyone calm down.. i love my godson and his mother and what she does with her boobs and what u all do with urs is all ur business =)
Great sense of humor…? And great friend by the way! Hurting your best friend's feelings because every one on the internet gets in a "tizzy"? And it is our business if you're posting inaccurate information about things you obviously know NOTHING about. If you love your godson and his mother then you should back them 100%, and that includes posting a NON anonymous comment saying "you can do it Christa! You are such a great mom!" not harping on her parenting decisions under an anonymous name.
And you DID SAY "correct my if I'm wrong…" and I did, so may be YOU should lighten up and remember what you were posting. I'm sure you didn't expect Christa to be able to figure out it was you that did this and coming back now and saying "hahahaha it's a joke" makes everything a-okay and 100% better, but it doesn't. It's obviously what you were thinking, and why would anyone want to hear negative feedback on a post clearly asking for support?
Next time you write something rude and negative to someone, even as a "joke", think about how that person is going to feel. They aren't going to think it's so funny.
Ya know what i had a whole response written and I deleted it because honestly, I dont care what you think. If Christa is mad at me then shes mad at me, theres nothing I can say now but for the record I was the one who texted her right after I wrote it saying i love your blog very sarcastically, knowing that shes NOT AN IDIOT and would have figured it out!
As for being a bad friend/godmother/person, you better watch what you put out there because i'll be dammed if someone ever calls me a bad godmother to that baby, I love him with all my heart and i've known christa since we were practically in diapers and she knows me, and i do support her on every single decision she makes whether or not its what i would do or not. Its her life and her kid, I am just there for her so when you don't know our relationship and how I am, you shouldn't judge. I simply stated how I would feel about a two year old (NOT MASON) who has teeth im assuming, breastfeeding because like i said, THATS SOMETHING I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO, ya know being a woman and all whom has sensitivity toward her boobs!!
as for me leaving the "negative post" when she was asking for support, I actually said nothing negative towards her it was not negative at all actually, i said one thing towards her actual post about men being uncomfortable around the breastfeeding well because they are men and might get weirded out by that. Nothing else i posted was an attack on her!!
Shes my best friend, and I'm actually offended that you would say otherwise towards someone you don't even know.
I think of him everyday and how i wish i could be closer to him because I do love him and think of his well being always, which his mother decided was to be with her and his father, and what did i do.. I SUPPORTED HER!! So as for this conversation, I'm done with it and will not be responding to you on another other posts because you made me feel like a terrible person/friend/and godmother for making a stupid joke. I don't take it back, the only part i would take back would be the part about everyone getting so worked up about it and i DEF will post it as my name next time NOW THAT I'VE FIGURED OUT HOW!!
Sincerely
the bad friend