I think I sort of knew this already but with Elena’s passing it’s become even more clear.
I handle stress by shopping which is counterproductive because then I get to stress about money.
Shortly after I had Elena I ordered a memorial necklace from Shabby Chic Designs. I’m looking forward to getting it and being able to wear it. I think it’ll make me feel better.
Since then I’ve been semi-consumed with things that can/will remind me of Elena. My mom bought me a rosary bracelet that is perfect. It shimmers in the light but only sometimes so when it does I’m quickly reminded of her especially when you think of what her name means. So glad we went with Elena.
My Aunt got her a cross, I haven’t hung it up yet because I want to find the perfect spot, maybe above her brothers bed so that she can watch over him?
I REALLY want an inner message ring that says her name
When I have an extra $450 laying around for a custom message I’ll get one.
I also really want to get a necklace or SOMETHING that has her hand prints or foot prints on it.
Shabby Chic Designs has one. She was so little I don’t even think they’d have to shrink it down.
I would love to get this key chain for B too
I’m also debating getting some sort of tattoo. I don’t have any now, never really thought I would get one but I always knew that if I did get something it would have something to do with my kids. Two other pPROM moms that I’ve met got the footprints of their littles tattooed on them. For some reason I’m leaning towards her hand print, somewhere close to my heart I think.
But I really don’t know.
I also find myself wanting to buy little girl stuff. As if I just found out the sex not as if I just gave birth to a baby I couldn’t keep. I want to buy little newborn cloth diapers and baby girl dresses.
I guess I just want my baby and no amount of shopping is going to fix that or change that.