Retail Therapy

I think I sort of knew this already but with Elena’s passing it’s become even more clear.

I handle stress by shopping which is counterproductive because then I get to stress about money.

Shortly after I had Elena I ordered a memorial necklace from Shabby Chic Designs. I’m looking forward to getting it and being able to wear it. I think it’ll make me feel better.

Since then I’ve been semi-consumed with things that can/will remind me of Elena. My mom bought me a rosary bracelet that is perfect. It shimmers in the light but only sometimes so when it does I’m quickly reminded of her especially when you think of what her name means. So glad we went with Elena.

My Aunt got her a cross, I haven’t hung it up yet because I want to find the perfect spot, maybe above her brothers bed so that she can watch over him?

I REALLY want an inner message ring that says her name

When I have an extra $450 laying around for a custom message I’ll get one.

I also really want to get a necklace or SOMETHING that has her hand prints or foot prints on it.

Shabby Chic Designs has one. She was so little I don’t even think they’d have to shrink it down.

I would love to get this key chain for B too

I also really love this ring:

I’m also debating getting some sort of tattoo. I don’t have any now, never really thought I would get one but I always knew that if I did get something it would have something to do with my kids.  Two other pPROM moms that I’ve met got the footprints of their littles tattooed on them. For some reason I’m leaning towards her hand print, somewhere close to my heart I think.

But I really don’t know.

I also find myself wanting to buy little girl stuff. As if I just found out the sex not as if I just gave birth to a baby I couldn’t keep. I want to buy little newborn cloth diapers and baby girl dresses.

I guess I just want my baby and no amount of shopping is going to fix that or change that.

Easter Bake WARE!
Egg Muffins {Perfect for Freezing}

Comments

  1. says

    When I had my miscarriage, I bought a memorial necklace from this website: http://www.labelledame.com/miscarriage-infant-loss.html

    It’s a simple necklace with a forget-me-not flower & birthstones. You can customize the birthstones however you’d like. I felt a great deal of comfort when I received it; like I could wear the memory of my little one all the time. Anytime I felt sad I’d look at the necklace and it would bring me comfort.

    I’ve been thinking about you and hoping you’re okay. What happen is really unfair and just plain sucks. Sometimes, that’s all that really can be sad for situations like this.. It just sucks. Writing helped me, listening to music, and connecting with other women like me – which it sounds like you are doing. Stay strong, take care and be kind to yourself. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Big hugs Christa.

  2. says

    I am a total stranger…I know it’s probably a little weird to hear from strangers right now, but I heard of your loss from Kristine McC. (Cora’s mommy) and wanted to express my sorrow for you and your family and send you virtual love and support. I don’t know the circumstances around your loss, I just know that losing a baby is devistating (speaking as an auntie, not a mommy, so I can’t even really ever know your heart-ache). But my heart does ache for you.
    My brother and sister-in-law are artisan jewelry makers; when they lost their first-born on his due date, all our lives changed~but theirs in ways that can’t be put into words. When they should have been bringing him home from the hospital, instead my brother was hand-designing his urn, engraved with his actual footprints. It’s beautiful~but it’s not a son!
    Soon after, my SIL found a beautiful large citrine stone, his birth stone, that she carried with her everywhere. Two years later, my brother finally was able to work on it and made it into a necklace for her.

    Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t think you’re just shopping to be theraputic, but I think having something that you wear or a tattoo that is a special remembrance of your daughter is/can be very healing. It’s a way of carrying her with you always (not that you’d ever forget her~more of a way of honoring her). I

    If you don’t find anything else online or through other sources, I’m sure my brother and SIL would be able to work with you on customizing a remembrance necklace or ring. I’d be happy to put you in touch with them or you can find them on my blog (Aunali or or Pretty Things Galore)

    You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as you continue down this path/journey of grief & healing.

    With Love,
    Mary M

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