Mason is 19 Months, which means that I’ve officially gone 7 months longer than I ever thought I would when it comes to breastfeeding.
That’s a long time. At first it didn’t really bother me, when he was 13 months etc. But now it’s going to the point we’re I’m done. I don’t really want to breastfeed anymore and I’ve felt like that for a couple of months now. But why haven’t I stopped?
Weaning is hard. Weaning makes me feel guilty. Like I’m a bad Mom. I’d have to look up the statistics but despite what online groups may lead you to believe I’m apart of the <2% statistic of women who breastfeed past a year. I should be proud of that, and I am but yet I still feel really guilty when I think about weaning Mason, like I’m doing him a disservice. I know that there are many people in my life who think that I’ve breastfeed him for too long, that there’s something unnatural about it. But the fact is that’s very far from the truth, it’s not unnatural at all, in fact it’s VERY natural. And I think the fact that he is hardly ever sick has a lot to do with the fact that I breastfeed and did so for as long as I have. He’s a healthy little boy and I know that it’s because of breastfeeding.
But it’s time. It’s time for me to wean. It may sound selfish but I want my body back, I need my body back. Right now Mason pretty much runs it like it’s his. Ever since I went to San Diego he has been even more attached to me. Everyone was making fun of me because I was so nervous about traumatizing him well y’all can shove it because I DID traumatize him, ask my Mom or my Dad or my Grandma, and was it worth it? Maybe, San Diego was AMAZING for so many different reasons but the fact that I can’t do ANYTHING with out him lately is driving me a little insane which has helped push me in the direction of NEEDING to wean. Before it was just a want but now it’s a need I NEED to wean for my sanity.
So why haven’t I done it yet?
It’s hard. When you wean from a bottle you can throw all the bottles out and say “We’re done, no more bottles” but I can’t throw my boobs out! It obviously doesn’t work like that which makes it even harder. I got some great advice in the Bloggers With Benefits forum like stretching out the time in between feeding, and I’ve been doing that. I also cut out a 1 AM night time session but it’s still a slow going process.