CHD, NOT Circumcision

Sometimes I wonder why I bother being on twitter. Don’t get me wrong I love it and I’ve met some great women there. And if you blog I highly suggest you tweet because it allows you to connect with readers and other bloggers so easily.

But it’s days like today that drive me up the WALL! A mother lost her baby boy today. This Mom is grieving and while most people stood by her to support her during her loss others thought that this wold be the perfect time to bash her for her decision to circumcise her son. Little Joshua had a Congenital Heart Defect. And for the record THAT’S why this poor little baby lost his life.

Why do we as  MOTHERS choose to do this? We should be standing by her supporting her and offering our love, prayers and good thoughts to her. She lost her child. Could you even IMAGINE such a thing? 
This isn’t the time to be making your “points” about circumcision. It’s time to support this mother. What if it were YOU? What if it were YOUR CHILD? How would feel if these hateful comments were being thrown at you while you were grieving.

I circ’d Mason and I will most likely do it again if I have another boy. And the intactivists who may have changed my mind now never will because I will NEVER have ANY respect for that community. It disgusts me to no end that they feel that Baby Joshua should be used to their advantage.

And for the record, I don’t care if your son is circumcised or not. I may have done it but that doesn’t mean that I think all baby boys should be or that you’re “sick in the head” for not doing it. Why is “sick in the head” in quotes? Because there were people online saying things like that to me all because I refused to let Joshua’s Mom be attacked and bullied.

It doesn’t matter if you Breastfeed, formula feed, circumcise, or don’t a mother lost her baby today and the ONLY thing we should be doing is hugging and kissing our babies and thanking God that we have the good fortune to be able to do so.

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  1. Nicole says

    That is horrible that other mothers are bashing this mom. I can't even imagine the grief that this mother is going through. How completely heartless of these "mothers." I agree- what if it was THEIR child? Every mother has the right to make the decisions that they think are best for their OWN child. Why do some mothers choose to be so critical of other mothers decisions? I just don't understand how some can be so cruel. It breaks my heart. I just pray that their children don't grow up to be as prejudiced and mean as they are.

  2. Jenny @ Practically Perfect... says

    Oh my gosh. My heart goes out for this family. How awful that in the midst of their grief, they have to face this criticism.

  3. Emily @ Baby Dickey says

    I can't imagine such a thing. And I'm in total shock right now that people can be SO CRUEL. Talk about loss of faith. It's disgusting. Thanks for writing about it!

  4. Matt says

    Had Joshua been born anywhere else in the world, this would not have happened.

    American culture and its insane obsession with cutting off the foreskin is to blame.

    My heart goes out to the victims, Joshua, his mother and their family.

    It is time to end this barbaric practice here in the USA. How many other babies need to die?

    This was a tragedy that did not need to happen. It is you people that insist on doing this to helpless infants that are to blame! Shame on YOU!

  5. Mama Bennie says

    well, "Matt" Joshua didn't die from being circumcised if you care to read things instead of pressing your own agenda. And yes, it is your own agenda because I have seen this comment, by you, on several blogs today. He died because he was missing half of his little heart, and there is no reason to bring up the subject of circumcision so how about you stop spamming blogs with your diarrhea of the mouth.

  6. Lindsay Blogs says

    My heart goes out to the family who lost their sweet baby. No matter the reason. It's a tragedy.

    Stopping by from SITS Hedgehog Tribe.

  7. Anonymous says

    actually i am a compassionate intactavist who has devotead a large chunk of her life making it impossible for parents to choose to cut their sons. i have cried today for that family and that poor, poor woman. that baby boy died within 24 hours of his circ, from which he bled for 7 hours. dont tell me he died from his heart defect, those stupid doctors who pushed that surgery on that family killed him.
    oh, and i live in south africa and our intactavist community has recently achieved an incredible goal – our laws have been changed and now routine circumcision is illegal here.

  8. Melly says

    If people are going to talk about the side effects and risks of circumcision, they should also site the numbers of the grown men who have to be circumcised later in life because their foreskin is too small for their penis. It happens frequently, I used to work at a hospital. I saw an article on this "mommy" website once bashing circumcision and I posted the same there about the number of grown men that need to have it done so if they're going to post one number, do their research and post the other. Oddly enough, my comment never made it through moderation. There is a movement right now in the parent community and I'm sorry to say it affects the mothers way more often the men. They get an idea in their head and they just go batshit crazy about it. People need to dig their heads out of their asses, mind their own damn business, and realize what they're *actually* doing is hurting those with different beliefs than theirs.

  9. Tally says

    @Melly, one reason men in the US have trouble with their foreskin is because the US culture is so anti-foreskin that the proper care of the foreskin is not known. Premature retraction is common in the US and causes problems such as phimosis. Also, washing inside the foreskin with soap instead of just rinsing with water is a leading cause of balinitis.
    See for info on caring for intact and circumcised penises.

  10. Canadian Mom of Twins says

    Lovely post – I too am sorry to about a mother losing her child. I really can not even imagine such a loss 🙁
    On a side note, I am curious why others (strangers!) care so much about what this family has decided to do with their son's foreskin? I think that it is a private matter, and should be left to the discretion of the mother and father. Stopping by from SITS PS: thanks for your comment on my blog 🙂

  11. ERICA!! says

    WOW i thought this post was about a grieving mother and her poor family who just lost a BABY!! You digusting people are talking about the life of this child like he was another science project. Whether or not you choose to believe that circum. is right.. keep that shit to yourself.. this is not a friggen protest blog!!! That is whats wrong with this country and people like you… you all think that just because we have "freedom of speech" that you can go out there and say whatever the hell you want to say… DOCTORS are called doctors for a reason.. and if you look up CHD which is what this poor baby died from. you will see that that is exactly what he died from. I dont think that cutting of the fucking foreskin from his little privates make him bleed to death do you annonymous?? because I'm pretty sure if he was bleeding excessively that the DOCTORS would have put a quicker stop to the bleeding don't you? Are you a doctor..i doubt that you are!! You are some dumb yuppie who thinks that they can say whatever they want, and obviously you have no children or you wouldn't be behaving the way you are!

    HOW DARE YOU even bring up something so hurtful when a family is buring a newborn baby this week.. HOW DARE YOU… if you are so holy'er than thou yada yada yada.. maybe you should look to yourself and say "hey self.. maybe your being a LITTLE disrespectful today when you say these hurtful things about this HORRID situation" And since when is it someone elses business what other people do with their lives? Why is it your goal in life to make it "impossible" for people to do this!!!!!! Your all friggen nuts… mind your business and go find a fucking hobby!!! You and every other DUMB activist group who is feeding the minds of young people nonsense.. get a grip on reality.. circum. is not murder.. its cutting off some foreskin that doesn't mean shit.. granted i dont have a penis.. but plenty of ppl i know do and im prettyyy sure they don't miss the fucking foreskin on their penis'!! so get a grip and whether or not you chose to do that to your kids should be your business. Pretty sure you wouldn't want someone saying HEY don't tweeze your eyebrows.. you'll miss those hairs or.. hey don't get liposuction.. you'll miss that fat one day.. like MIND YOUR BUSINESS ALREADY!!!!!!!!!! UGH you sickos make my blood boil!!!!

    As for this mom and her family.. my deepest sympathies go out to you, i can't imagine how you are feeling right now!! I don't have children but I have worked in daycare for 6 years now in the infant room and I couldn't imagine what your going through.. As for the nonsense comments and ridiculous backlash your sure to recieve from these close minded FOOLS.. ignore them because their GOD will punish them one day for opening their dumb mouths when they shouldn't have.


  12. ERICA!! says

    and to you MATT>.. are you mad cause your penis has no foreskin or does it?? like honestly.. do you miss it?? and im sure if it was the other way around n you had it.. you'd be arguing to get it snipped off.. no one is ever satisfied and like i said in my previous post… its not your business what other people do with THEIR CHILDREN…get over it americans are not insane with circumcisions its not barbaric???? how long has this been going on.. years and years and years and NOW its a problem? this poor baby didn't die from it so get a hold of yourself and your views and go tell someone who wants to be in your little non foreskin snipping cult!!!

  13. Life Without Pink says

    This is sad…why do MOMS feel the need to do this? I just don't understand. I feel so bad for this family.

  14. JDaniel4's Mom says

    I don't think they understood what she really needed. Sounds like they just looked to a place to make their point.

  15. cornflakegirl74 says

    This just breaks my heart. My thoughts and prayers go out to her; I can't imagine the pain she's experiencing now… and I also can't imagine that there are people out there who would use such a tragic event as this to get on their soap box. Sad 🙁 I hope she's surrounding herself with the love of family and friends.

    Also, I scrolled through a few of the comments here today… Some were fueled by anger. Many were touching and heartfelt. There's enough hatred in the world, and I know there are many compassionate people who genuinely mourn for this woman and her loss. XOXO

  16. The Mommyologist says

    Very well said. Who the hell does something like that, seriously? Moms can be so cruel to each other, it just amazes me. It's a good thing I didn't see that conversation. I would've lost it for sure. My hearts and prayers go out to little Joshua's mom and his family.

  17. Livy says

    I agree that it is sickening that some people need to use this tragedy to push their own agenda. It's almost like they are glad when something like this happens because then they have something to use to boost their cause.

  18. Angelia Sims says

    Praying for the family. Praying for the hurt and the angry.

    My sister lost her baby boy at 7 days old and another at 4 1/2 years. It was a very rare muscle brain disorder that affected them both. Come to find out after the second was it WAS inherited and not random like they first thought.

    It was a blessing to hold them and heart breaking to bury them. It is still not anything I could imagine even having gone through it with her.

    I hope kindness reaches out and gives you all a hug.

  19. Jill says

    Amen sister. Sadly, ignorance will always exist and some people will always need to judge others to feel good about themselves. Very sad story 🙁

  20. Adryon says

    When I saw all of that nonsense going down, it made me absolutely sick.

    Someone lost their baby. THAT is all that truly matters.

    Trolls make me sick. Agendas make me ill.

  21. Lindsey says

    I can't even imagine. The rudeness of people amazes me. I don't like people pushing an agenda on a normal day. This is just…infuriating.

  22. says

    I know you wrote this forever ago but I had to read something on your site regarding circumcision due to some draaaaama I saw on Twitter today. I agree with you. This poor child losing his life should have NEVER, EVER been about his circumcision an should have ALWAYS been about the fact that he DIED. PERIOD. END OF STORY. Why try to "educate" (in a negative way) someone whose child is deceased? And recently deceased for that matter? It's disgusting. And for the record, my son, styles is circumcised and my son due in a couple of weeks will be too. For very personal, nunya bizness reasons.

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