Hot Topic- Breastfeeding {in Public}

At first I was going to completely skip writing this post I thought it’s not necessary it’s been done by oooh a bazillion bloggers and I just didn’t feel like it. I swear there are some lactivists who must keep the search “Breastfeeding” up in their TweetDeck so that anytime anyone says anything about breastfeeding it pops up. 

First it was the Rabbi’s letter that he apparently wrote years ago that had people flipping out. I don’t really want to address that here so you can go a head and read this post: Did You Know Breastfeeding Ruins Marriages? and then Rabbi Wrote Me an Email and last but certainly not least I Slept on The Rabbi by the lovely @KatiesPickles formally known as @graciekate. I’m not going to get into that. I think she explains it well enough, and that you guys can form your own opinions.

And then Kim Kardashian tweeted this:



And once again people went a lil crazy! My thoughts?

First: Changing your babies dirty diaper on a table at a restaurant IS EWWW! Couldn’t she at the very least done it on the chair? As for using a cover…I don’t. HOWEVER I’m completely covered. Does that make sense? I always have a nursing tank on and I unsnap that then I lift my shirt. Mason latches and no one ever sees the nip. Easy Peasy. So I’m going to dare it and say I agree with Kim. You should cover yourself. I don’t think it’s appropriate to be showing a lot of boob nor do I think it’s okay to have your nipple out. I just think she probably shouldn’t have been the one to say it since MANY MANY breastfeeding and non breastfeeding mothers have pointed out that she shows more cleavage on a daily basis then all breastfeeding mothers combined. And they’re right about that!

When it comes to breastfeeding I’m so for it that I have to sometimes control myself because I don’t want to push my values so much on someone that they are automatically turned off and refuse to listen to the things that I have to say that are valid.
I think that’s the mistake that a lot of lactivists make! They force their viewpoints down peoples throats which sometimes make people want to go against what the lactivist is saying {i.e. NOT breastfeed, especially if they are on the fence}.
Take my Aunt for example. My cousin was a premie born via cesarean section.  He was a healthy size and my Aunt tired breastfeeding but was having difficulties as plenty of cesarean mothers do.  When she called to speak with someone in our local LLL the woman was rude and abrupt with my Aunt claiming she wasn’t trying hard enough to breastfeed my cousin. My aunt being emotional and upset, doing the best she could was tired of being told she wasn’t good enough so she told the LLL consultant that essentially her attitude had turned her off SO much that she wasn’t going to even try anymore. So she didn’t. She stopped trying. As I listened to this story I thought well that’s a lose-lose situation. One that didn’t have to happen at all! It’s a sad story and I think it’s one that happens more often than we’d like to think! 

So I try my best to be an advocate for breastfeeding without forcing my beliefs down peoples throats. Hopefully I do a good job but I know I don’t always. I try to stay out of twitter fights especially when it concerns breastfeeding but just the other day I HAD to say something. It was the THIRD time breastfeeding Moms were angry about something breastfeeding related and this time I joined the fight. A FEMALE tweeter {We all thought she was a male at first but she explained that she was a lesbian} tweeted this: 


@ItzJusSp  Ok look pass the two people’s crotches, why is this lady breastfeeding on the fuckin train?!? UNACCEPTABLE http://tweetphoto.com/28911366

This pissed me off beyond belief. I thought it was horrible that she would take this photo of this breastfeeding Mom without her knowledge and post it on Twitter like she was doing something wrong. I debated not posting the picture myself because I felt like it might be an invasion of her privacy. I obviously decided to post it anyway because I figured most of you would click the link anyway and I’d rather this tweeter not get anymore traffic etc.
Personally I would prefer to be more covered up myself but I also think that this picture is COMPLETELY okay especially if she’s okay with it which she obviously is. Think about it she was on a crowded train. What I think is wrong and I said so to the tweeter was that she posted it trying to say that what this woman was doing was wrong {someone even commented on the age of the child} and it’s not. How is it that feeding your child naturally has become something gross and bad? I just don’t get it. And why in the world does this woman think it’s okay to tweet that photo. She even replied to me at one point and said women shouldn’t nurse in public because essentially not everyone is okay with it…hmmm well not everyone might be okay with gay people…but I wonder if that stops her from kissing her girlfriend in public…I’m sure it doesn’t. Not entirely anyway. Much in the same way that some woman may choose to nurse their child at home only because they’re afraid of what others might say.
Why is Breastfeeding so scary/gross/etc. to people? Why is breastfeeding such a hot topic? Are you against NIP? Are you for it? I would LOVE to hear your thoughts and point of view! 
So…What are your thoughts?
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Comments

  1. Michelle says

    I dont understand how someone can say breastfeeding is gross. OK maybe before I became a mother I could…but now as a mom to 4 (all breastfed) I can see that it is normal. Its nature and it could be a beautiful thing. So I believe its just ignorance. People havent lived it and just dont understand it.

    My husband will argue with me saying it shouldnt be done in public, not because its gross or anything like that, but he seems to think that men will get turned on by it and he doesnt want ME doing it. Ok…I dont doubt AT ALL that there are sick perverted men out there who would love seing a mom feed her baby (ew, gross, ack!) but really, there are men out there who are just as weird and perverted who would get turned on by looking at my toes in flip flops or my legs in shorts. That will never stop me from wearing shorts and flip flops and it will DEFINETELY not stop me from feeding my baby.

    Then he says he just thinks they should do it in the bathroom. But once again, I know he says it through ignorance. I have fed my baby on the toilet at restaurants and stores and I hated it. It just feels wrong to me as Im sure it does to other women. Having your baby eat while your sitting in a nasty stall on a nasty toilet just isnt cool and UNTIL it is you who is having to do it, I really dont think someone can fully understand why it is so wrong to do!

    Anyways I am passionate about this as Im sure most nursing moms are. And even though I personally cover up and yes use a blanket or nursing cover to cover up i FULLY support any mother nursing her baby in public or in private, covered or NOT. Just because I personally feel uncomfortable with it, doesnt mean it is wrong in any way. I feel uncomfortable in a bikini…but it doesnt mean it is a bad thing to wear!

    I wish more media would show more babies nursing. I think the more it is shown mainstream, the more people will be forced to get used to it and it wont seem so "weird" or "gross" to everyone else!

    Michelle
    http://sweettattletales.blogspot.com
    http://tattletalegiveaways.blogspot.com

  2. Jessie says

    Well said!!

    I am ALL for breastfeeding and was horrified when my supply dried up before I wanted/expected it too, but the reaction I got was even worse. I was made to feel like a horrible mother who just wasn't trying hard enough by people I reached out to for help. Now I did meet with 3 WONDERFUL certified lactation consultants but I will NEVER ask someone in LLL for help EVER again.

    That being said I would prefer not to see a nip in public. I don't think anyone should have to be shrouded in a tarp, but I do wish some ladies would use a little more discretion. You know, don't just leave it hanging out there when you're burping the baby or talking on the phone and baby is finished nursing and no longer latched (yes, I have seen this done).

  3. Michelle says

    (sorry if 2 posts show up from me.lol I wrote one long one then an error message came up when i posted it so I wasnt sure if it went through or not! ) 🙂

  4. young mommy,to be. says

    wow.some people suck..
    im not even breastfeeding yet but everytime
    i hear a story like this is just makes me so mad.
    if the mother wasnt breastfeeding
    they would probably be complaining about the baby crying or something.
    and if somebody breastfeeding bothers you…then dont look.
    its that simple..
    you wouldnt stare at someone with no legs…or messy hair…or anything else that kind of stands out because its just wrong to stare…
    and its not like the mother is doing it to get a reaction "like oh look at my boobs!"
    no…shes doing it to feed her child.
    and age shouldnt freaking matter when it comes to breastfeeding
    yeah i understand its weird to see a mother feeding like a 5 year old or whatever
    but that is her choice and who am i to judge?!

    and i am totally for breastfeeding(for me) but
    if its hard for me and my baby,i will formula feed.
    because again its the mothers choice,and nobody should pass any judgement..no matter what.

  5. Meant to be a mom says

    First of all thanks for asking how things are going with me on your last comment on my blog. Things are going ok. On the fertility front nothing has changed but I will posting something about that very soon.

    Onto your post today.
    I personally have no problem at all with a women breastfeeding in public. God created us as women to be able to feed and nourish our babies (as long as our body will allow it). With that being said. I think for some peoples comfort. Because there are so many different opinions and feelings on the subject. That maybe more women might be a little more subtle while doing it. There is nothing wrong with feeding your child. However whipping out your breast in a busy place and letting your child start eating in front of any and everyone may be a bit much for some. So maybe just because not everyone is as open as others, maybe those of us who do breastfeed in public could just do it tastefully. Just for the respect of others.

    There is nothing wrong or gross about breastfeeding. However, our culture just seems to be less open than others. We don't have nude beaches. We don't (normally) show our breasts in public. I think that is what is creating so much drama in the U.S.A with all the public breastfeeding.

  6. Meant to be a mom says

    First of all thanks for asking how things are going with me on your last comment on my blog. Things are going ok. On the fertility front nothing has changed but I will posting something about that very soon.

    Onto your post today.
    I personally have no problem at all with a women breastfeeding in public. God created us as women to be able to feed and nourish our babies (as long as our body will allow it). With that being said. I think for some peoples comfort. Because there are so many different opinions and feelings on the subject. That maybe more women might be a little more subtle while doing it. There is nothing wrong with feeding your child. However whipping out your breast in a busy place and letting your child start eating in front of any and everyone may be a bit much for some. So maybe just because not everyone is as open as others, maybe those of us who do breastfeed in public could just do it tastefully. Just for the respect of others.

    There is nothing wrong or gross about breastfeeding. However, our culture just seems to be less open than others. We don't have nude beaches. We don't (normally) show our breasts in public. I think that is what is creating so much drama in the U.S.A with all the public breastfeeding.

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